This Will Only Sting A Little

I want to warn you about a most vile creature that lurks in the woods of South Georgia and North Florida.  It has a mean bite, venom, plus it can fly faster than you (or I apparently) can run, will attack in waves of hundreds, and will not give up until you kill them, or they kill you.

Yellow Jackets

Yep, that's them, little bastards!  I've worked in the woods for 30 years and I'd rather see rattle snakes than these little demons from hell. And that's a good description!  After all, they come out of the ground like a ghost, quiet, waiting till the group assembles on a poor unsuspecting soul, who's only sin was just walking too close to their nest.  Then, they attack!

Minding My Own Business

I was just walking the woods, checking behind one of our logging crews, looking up at the tops of the remaining trees to make sure they had cut the weakest ones.  Minding my own business, thinking about how good the forest looked on this gray cool morning.  When I feel the first sting.  Right under my nose, I knew immediately what it was, so I took off running.

The Viscous Attack

And oh did I run.  Swinging my arms trying to dislodge them from my shirt I burst out onto the two track road that runs back to the area where the trees are being loaded onto the trucks.  I sprinted toward the loading deck, thinking that if I could make it to my truck I might be safe.  I didn't think about the fact that I was covered in the yellow messengers of death.  What would I have done when I jumped into my truck?

I stopped and looked down at my pants, they were covered in them.  Shit!  I took off at a sprint, that's when the operator of the loader hollered "What the hell you running for, oh shit there's yellow jackets behind you, RUN!" (he has a keen sense of the obvious).  About that time the older black gentleman yelled "Come over by da fire, we'll smoke'm off!"  I was in full panic mode by now, I'd never had them pursue me this far from the nest.  I headed for the fire.

I Wish I'd Had A Camera

So as I ran around and around the fire the guy took off his jacket and beat me with it as I came by. The devils spawn never touched him, they kept after me.  I tore at my shirt thinking if I could get it off maybe they'd stay with it but I couldn't stop to get the buttons undone.  All the while this guy wailed on me with his jacket.  I heard him say "I ain't tryin to be weird but theys crawlin down the back of your pants".  Oh, that's all I needed.  By this time, between the smoke and the jacket ass whip-pin, we had gotten most of them off.

Headed For The Truck

I thanked the crew profusely and sprinted for my truck.  I did think I heard some chuckling as I ran away.  I went home and gobbled some Benadryle (sp?), then headed to the emergency room just to make sure I didn't go into shock.  The TMH emergency room is a story by itself that I won't go into here. Suffice to say they were efficient and I had no reaction to the 13 stings I received.

Thinking Back

When I was retelling the event I got to thinking how funny it must have looked to that logging crew to see this old gray haired dude running up to them waving his arms and trying to pull his shirt off. Then me running around and around the fire while this guy pummels me with his smoky, grease stained jacket every time I went by.  It would have been a YouTube sensation.

Not exactly like this but it felt like it at the time

A Little Cross at Cross?

I was looking forward to Tallycross.  The weather was going to be cold and windy, The Kid was coming home from school, and I was going to get to race my bike.  All happy things in my world.

Halloween

But first I had to survive Halloween on Friday night.  We've been putting on a show at our house for at least 10 years and the locals look forward to it.  They start lining up before sundown with the little ones.  We are pretty G rated until it gets dark then we let the zombies out.  One of the older kids told me "man I want to come work for ya'll next year".  Fun times.

I think I'll start dyeing my hair

Saturday CX

The race venue is in a great spot, easy access, lots of parking (which turned out not to be a problem) and really good terrain to work with.  Unfortunately very few riders and almost no spectators were there to enjoy it.  Why? I don't know the answer to that.  Very little shop participation, no vendors, and no food truck.  All were there last year, so what happened?  We even had a keg of beer last year, sadly, none this year.

From a racers perspective the event was well run, and the course well marked.  I have a few niggling complaints about not cleaning the corners of sticks and limbs but that's just me.  A small group of us lined up for the 35, 45, 55 class, with only me and one more in the 55s.  I had fun riding, just not much racing went on.  The faster riders were way ahead and the slower were way behind.  For my $25 I got a $.25 medal.  The Kid had a good race though, finishing 2nd in cat 3, we waited in the cold for podiums but got tired and headed home before they were held.

Tragedy Strikes

I won't go into detail about it.  I don't usually post sad things here but it happened and it had a bearing on my weekend.  Our beautiful, loving cat of 8 years, Frodo, was killed Saturday evening.  It left our family in shock and sadness.  He was a great cat and will be missed.  This event seemed to send me on a downward spiral that I still haven't fully pulled out of, and that's not really like me.

Sunday CX

Nobody ever takes pictures of me.

The racing was much the same as Saturday, at least from my perspective.  I lost interest about three quarters of the way through.  Riding by myself, it was just like a training ride, only it cost me another $25.  Today however, I had brought beer, so we found a sunny corner, cranked the boom box up, and had a small party.

The Kid had a good race though and managed to finish 3rd.  He enjoys CX and was happy with his ride.

Opinion Time

This event won't last.  No payout for the elites, no goodies for the rest of us, no local involvement, and a long way to travel for the majority of riders, will spell the end of our little race.  At least on the FLCX calendar.  I know the riders are out there, just last week we had 50+ show up for a trail ride.  I know, I know, that was low pressure and no cost, plus they had beer.  Tallahassee is just that way, lots of riders, not many racers.  That's not a bad thing, but it doesn't bode well for promoters trying to put on races.

This was the scene last year, nothing like that this year.

Cross is hard, plus you're out there where everybody can see you.  No place to hide, no drafting, so I get it, it's not for everyone.  I was just hoping a few more would give it a try.  Somethings going to need to change if we're going to do this again next year. 

This year, fun but lonely.  

But that's just my opinion.  And you know what they say about those.