Sunday, November 8, 2015

I Can See The Light

It's around a long bend, and it's just a spot, but I can see it, maybe.

It's been a little over a month now since I took my little tumble.  I can put on my socks and sort of sleep on my side.  I can make a full pedal stroke on the trainer at PT and was even able to spend 10 minutes with resistance spinning.  Damn it felt good.  I managed to get into the bottom of zone 2 with my heart rate.  Happy day!

I'm down to one crutch and my PT tells me I should be off it part time by Tuesday.  For some reason that scares me.  I'm a wuss when it comes to pain.  Speaking of pain, I've severely cut back on my pain meds.  I'm on an as needed basis.  And yes, sometimes I still need.

I managed to crawl on the road bike on the trainer Friday.  It wasn't pretty but I got on.  I did 15 minuets, no it wasn't that much time, but it was all my butt could stand.  I got up to 20 Sunday and am planning on increasing it 5 minutes per day until I reach a time I just can't stand it any longer.

It's amazing how much muscle I've lost in a month.  How hard these little exercises are to do.  My mind still thinks I can do what I used to, but my body lets me know pretty quick how limited I am.  I hope I'm pushing hard enough.

It's weird when you're stuck at the house, the weekends aren't such a big deal.  Fortunately it's college football season so there's something different on TV.  I know, that's kinda sad when watching football is something to look forward to.

But Wait

So some time has passed since I wrote the stuff above.  I'm still on a crutch.  I can ride my trainer for 45 minutes but I can't walk more than 10 feet without an aid.  I can feel frustration setting in.  I mean it's been 5 weeks.  I'm losing confidence in my PT.  Maybe it's an old guy thing but I wish he had more experience with rehabbing older cyclists.  When I tell him what I used to do and what I expect to do he just looks at me funny.  I want to be able to do what I did 2 months ago.  And I don't want to wait 2 years to get there.

Am I being unreasonable?  Maybe PT isn't that important?  Should I accept the fact that this injury represents a large nonrecoverable step down?  I don't think that's realistic.

And Another Week

I have a very cool cane now.  It's made a difference in my confidence getting around.  I'm up to an hour on the trainer but I'm losing interest in my prescribed exercises.   Not only does my injured leg/hip bother me but because of my weird walk with the cane and the crutch my back and neck stay aggravated.  I've also become more narcissistic (if that's possible).

No pain meds for a few days now.  I hope that's behind me.  I'm doing things now I didn't take time for when I was healthy, trying to be a "glass half full" kind of person instead of focusing on all the stuff I can't do.

The improvements are so small, and they seem to come so slowly.  But they are there.  Cycling is not my life but I do like to ride a bike.  Starting out as a raw beginner again is both humbling and terrifying.  Right now I just want to be able to start.

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