30 Days In the Hole

Shoot it'll be a miracle if I get going in 30 days.  I'm doing my PT now.  I look forward to it.  It's as close to a gym workout as I get.  I also have an hour of exercises that I do daily.  Last week in PT I got on a stationary bike, I couldn't make a full revolution but I got close.  That doesn't seem like much does it?  And I guess that's whats so frustrating.

Progress

It's hard to go from 5 days a week on the bike to just being able to turn the crank one time.  Small things become huge.  Like putting on my socks.  Damn that hurts, and I don't make it every try.  

The days go by quickly right now.  I'm lucky to be able to work from the house so that takes up quite a bit of my day time.  Evenings are the worst.  Acceptance of my fate is tricky.  Sometimes I can get my head around it and then there's times I fight against it.  The reality can't be ignored though.

Stories

I meet others at PT with cycling injuries.  Most are younger than me.  Then there's the stories of folks getting injured while doing the most mundane things.  Getting out of the shower, running across a parking lot, walking along the side of the road, cleaning the gutters, falling out of a tree stand.

I get pissed at people who insinuate that I was doing something I shouldn't have been doing when I got hurt.  They make a face and say something like "I bet you won't be doing that anymore."  I was just riding a bike along a multi use path, not even going fast, not taking any big risks.  

If it's one thing I've learned you can get hurt doing anything.  And that's a scary thing.

Invincible

41 years of riding moto, racing enduro, hare scrambles, and motocross, and only a broken wrist to show for it.  10 years of cycling, and until this ordeal, nothing more than a scraped knee.  I really thought I had something, call it luck, preparation, concentration, or just the ability to foresee danger. I had dodged the bullet for so long I really thought I was different.  To realize that I am not as invincible as I thought is another lesson I've learned.

Changes

You hear folks say your life can change in an instant.  I knew that was true but until now I hadn't experienced any thing like this.  It has certainly given me a renewed sense of appreciation for so many things that I had been taking for granted.  Accepting help and kindness, humbling myself to accept it, has been a big change for me.

New Direction?

Others have been hurt much worse than I.  Had larger set backs than this.  I am learning something new all the time.  It would be a shame to go through this and not have it change me, I hope for the better.

You can't go through life worrying about something bad happening.  You'd miss so much!  In the end it's not really what happens but how you react to it that tells what kind of a person you are.

Will I ride again?  I am most certainly planning on it.  Will I be scared?  Yes, terrified.  Will I race?  I hope so.  Suffice to say the 60+ XC class doesn't look as easy to dominate as it did last month.

I miss the fellowship that goes along with cycling.  The post ride beers (which had gotten few and far between for some reason) and of course this is the best time of the year weather wise.

Anyhoo, if I could just put my socks on and sleep on my side I'd be ecstatic right now.