Now I Know Why Tigers Eat Their Young

Black and orange display at Higher Ground, just for Halloween

Halloween is a big deal at my house.  So even though we got stood up by all our friends and The Kid had a late basketball practice, the Lovely Wife and I still set up our little deal.




It looks better after dark

 



 

I'll admit we felt a twinge of sadness, two mature adults dressing up without having the usual kids around.  Oh well, we might as well get used to it.

I had rigged ghouls hanging from fishing line in the tree above us, a smoke machine under the table with the candy on it, plus strobe lights in the grave yard.  I could drop the ghouls near unsuspecting trick or treaters with a fishing reel which was hidden at the back of the pop up.  And for the coup de resistance I was wearing the mask shown below.

This is The Kid from last year's deal

The Lovely Wife was dressed in her usual witch costume.  We don't scare the little kids.  I didn't put on the mask until it got dark and the bigger kids started coming by, and  I only dropped the ghoul on the adults as they stood at the end of the driveway and took pictures.

After Dark

We start getting the regulars, the kids that come by every year.  They look forward seeing what we're doing and approach us slowly, looking for the trick.  I put the mask on, drape a black sheet around me, and sit at the back of the pop up.  I only stand up if they start talking brave, and then only move if they laugh.  One of the adults looked at me and said "now that's scary".  As he turned to go I followed him back to his car and stood by the window while he talked on his phone.  He noticed me out of the corner of his eye, slowly turned his head, and said into the phone "oh shit".  He laughed and drove away.

Some groups would yell "chase us" then scatter as I came out.  I never touch them and they have never touched me.  Until last night.

The Mean Little Buggers

They looked like all the other kids we'd had that evening.  Nothing about them gave me a clue as to how evil they would be.  They came in a large pack, complete with parents.  I couldn't tell how many there were, the mask doesn't have good visibility.  After they got their candy they started talking smack, taunting me, so I stood up.  Usually that's enough to get them to run, not this group.  Then the first sword poked my side.  I turned, suddenly something poked me in the face.  I growled and took a step.  More sword poking, then I catch a glimpse of an object flying through the air, smack, something hits me in the head.  Suddenly they're all around me, I try to move but the sheet is wrapped around my legs.  I holler "ok, that's enough" and pull off the mask.  I figured they'd stop once they saw it was an adult, or at least the momas would say something.  No, they just kept at it.  It was all I could do not to smack the living s&%# out of them.

Finally moma says "ok, lets go" and the pack of evil little dwarfs moved away. 

I was soooo pissed.  The Lovely Wife had to keep telling me to be quiet.  What is it with parents today?  If my kid had done something like that I'd have been horrified.  The kids showed no fear, nor any respect for an adult.  I suspect they need something to really terrify them.  Something to keep them guessing.  Make them a little less sure of themselves.

What they really needed, above all else, was just a good old fashioned ass whooping.

And I've got a whole year to get ready.