I Can See The Light

It's around a long bend, and it's just a spot, but I can see it, maybe.

It's been a little over a month now since I took my little tumble.  I can put on my socks and sort of sleep on my side.  I can make a full pedal stroke on the trainer at PT and was even able to spend 10 minutes with resistance spinning.  Damn it felt good.  I managed to get into the bottom of zone 2 with my heart rate.  Happy day!

I'm down to one crutch and my PT tells me I should be off it part time by Tuesday.  For some reason that scares me.  I'm a wuss when it comes to pain.  Speaking of pain, I've severely cut back on my pain meds.  I'm on an as needed basis.  And yes, sometimes I still need.

I managed to crawl on the road bike on the trainer Friday.  It wasn't pretty but I got on.  I did 15 minuets, no it wasn't that much time, but it was all my butt could stand.  I got up to 20 Sunday and am planning on increasing it 5 minutes per day until I reach a time I just can't stand it any longer.

It's amazing how much muscle I've lost in a month.  How hard these little exercises are to do.  My mind still thinks I can do what I used to, but my body lets me know pretty quick how limited I am.  I hope I'm pushing hard enough.

It's weird when you're stuck at the house, the weekends aren't such a big deal.  Fortunately it's college football season so there's something different on TV.  I know, that's kinda sad when watching football is something to look forward to.

But Wait

So some time has passed since I wrote the stuff above.  I'm still on a crutch.  I can ride my trainer for 45 minutes but I can't walk more than 10 feet without an aid.  I can feel frustration setting in.  I mean it's been 5 weeks.  I'm losing confidence in my PT.  Maybe it's an old guy thing but I wish he had more experience with rehabbing older cyclists.  When I tell him what I used to do and what I expect to do he just looks at me funny.  I want to be able to do what I did 2 months ago.  And I don't want to wait 2 years to get there.

Am I being unreasonable?  Maybe PT isn't that important?  Should I accept the fact that this injury represents a large nonrecoverable step down?  I don't think that's realistic.

And Another Week

I have a very cool cane now.  It's made a difference in my confidence getting around.  I'm up to an hour on the trainer but I'm losing interest in my prescribed exercises.   Not only does my injured leg/hip bother me but because of my weird walk with the cane and the crutch my back and neck stay aggravated.  I've also become more narcissistic (if that's possible).

No pain meds for a few days now.  I hope that's behind me.  I'm doing things now I didn't take time for when I was healthy, trying to be a "glass half full" kind of person instead of focusing on all the stuff I can't do.

The improvements are so small, and they seem to come so slowly.  But they are there.  Cycling is not my life but I do like to ride a bike.  Starting out as a raw beginner again is both humbling and terrifying.  Right now I just want to be able to start.

30 Days In the Hole

Shoot it'll be a miracle if I get going in 30 days.  I'm doing my PT now.  I look forward to it.  It's as close to a gym workout as I get.  I also have an hour of exercises that I do daily.  Last week in PT I got on a stationary bike, I couldn't make a full revolution but I got close.  That doesn't seem like much does it?  And I guess that's whats so frustrating.

Progress

It's hard to go from 5 days a week on the bike to just being able to turn the crank one time.  Small things become huge.  Like putting on my socks.  Damn that hurts, and I don't make it every try.  

The days go by quickly right now.  I'm lucky to be able to work from the house so that takes up quite a bit of my day time.  Evenings are the worst.  Acceptance of my fate is tricky.  Sometimes I can get my head around it and then there's times I fight against it.  The reality can't be ignored though.

Stories

I meet others at PT with cycling injuries.  Most are younger than me.  Then there's the stories of folks getting injured while doing the most mundane things.  Getting out of the shower, running across a parking lot, walking along the side of the road, cleaning the gutters, falling out of a tree stand.

I get pissed at people who insinuate that I was doing something I shouldn't have been doing when I got hurt.  They make a face and say something like "I bet you won't be doing that anymore."  I was just riding a bike along a multi use path, not even going fast, not taking any big risks.  

If it's one thing I've learned you can get hurt doing anything.  And that's a scary thing.

Invincible

41 years of riding moto, racing enduro, hare scrambles, and motocross, and only a broken wrist to show for it.  10 years of cycling, and until this ordeal, nothing more than a scraped knee.  I really thought I had something, call it luck, preparation, concentration, or just the ability to foresee danger. I had dodged the bullet for so long I really thought I was different.  To realize that I am not as invincible as I thought is another lesson I've learned.

Changes

You hear folks say your life can change in an instant.  I knew that was true but until now I hadn't experienced any thing like this.  It has certainly given me a renewed sense of appreciation for so many things that I had been taking for granted.  Accepting help and kindness, humbling myself to accept it, has been a big change for me.

New Direction?

Others have been hurt much worse than I.  Had larger set backs than this.  I am learning something new all the time.  It would be a shame to go through this and not have it change me, I hope for the better.

You can't go through life worrying about something bad happening.  You'd miss so much!  In the end it's not really what happens but how you react to it that tells what kind of a person you are.

Will I ride again?  I am most certainly planning on it.  Will I be scared?  Yes, terrified.  Will I race?  I hope so.  Suffice to say the 60+ XC class doesn't look as easy to dominate as it did last month.

I miss the fellowship that goes along with cycling.  The post ride beers (which had gotten few and far between for some reason) and of course this is the best time of the year weather wise.

Anyhoo, if I could just put my socks on and sleep on my side I'd be ecstatic right now.   

It Ain't Easy

I have all kinds of stories from my short stay at TMH.  Suffice to say that the staff was kind.  They operated on me, put me back together, got me up on crutches, and got me out the door.  Since we are new to this health care thing there were a few subjects they could have done a better job of covering but we didn't know what we didn't know.

Home

I got myself folded into the Subaru and we made it home in a driving rain.  The crutch walk from the street to the front door was like a qualifier.  I made it but was terrified.  They had me climb steps with crutches that day at TMH but it was a different story having to do it by myself at 6 in the evening. The Lovely Wife (TLW) helped as much as she could.  I am not a good patient.

A New Life

Those first few days are a blur.  Let me say right now I could not have made any of this happen without TLW.  I wore out thank you and I'm sorry in those first two days.  I have no idea how anyone could get through something like this without help.

Friends stopped by, neighbors brought food, one even stopped by to see if I'd died, since the truck had been in the driveway all week.  I was surprised by how much I could do, and it got a little better every day.  The pain wasn't that high just constant and it worked on me so that by the afternoon I was getting down.  I did some of the exercises the PT had given me the day I checked out, and made laps around the kitchen, but the mental part was hard to get a grip on.

Last Thursday evening TLW starts to count pain pills and discovers I don't have enough to make it through the weekend.  I had incorrectly assumed they would give me enough to last until my next doctors visit.  Turns out they can't call in pain med scripts and you have to have a actual written one in your hand.  After 3 hours of automated phones and transfers TLW went to TOC and got the prescription.  She went directly to the pharmacy and got it filled.  This is on a Friday afternoon mind you.  If we hadn't counted pills I would have been without pain meds by Saturday night.  I can't imagine how that would have worked out.  At the pharmacy they acted like she was crazy when she told them she didn't know any of this.

Day by Day

The Kid came home Friday night, he's a little freaked out by all of this.  Welcome to the club.

I am able to work from the house.  I am getting cabin fever already.  I stopped looking at FB for now. My PT starts Monday and I'm looking forward to seeing what I can do.  Sure it's scary knowing how much pain they will put me through but it's better than sitting at the house, at least I guess it will be.

Anyhoo, as Dr. Sworks told me "You'll get through this, ya got no choice."

Tuesday Afternoon

A week ago today.  It had been misting most of the day and I was jonesing for a CX ride.  I'd just bought a new training plan from Training Peaks and I was anxious to get started.  It called for 1.5 hours on the bike followed by a .5 run.  I was almost done with the bike portion of the ride so I decided to cross Meridian and roll the multi-use since I was planning on doing my run there.

It All Goes Terribly Wrong

The face you make when the drugs go in.

I have probably ridden this section of multi-use hundreds of times, I wasn't even going fast.  It was just a little slicker than I thought it would be.  I lost the front end so fast I didn't even have a chance to take my hands off the bars.

As soon as I hit I knew I had screwed up bad.  I couldn't move my right leg so I just grabbed it and threw it on top of my left.  I got out my cell phone and started dialing.

The first person to answer was Big Jim, I told him the deal and asked him to head toward TMH so The Lovely Wife would have some company.  I called her.  Then I called 911.

May I Have a Cross Road Sir?

I'll admit to being more than a little stressed out.  By this time people had stopped and I was making some progress toward getting out.

I call Leon 911:

"What is the nature of your emergency?"

"I've fallen off my bicycle and have either broken or dislocate my hip."

"Where are you located?"

"On the multi-use trail at Overstreet, across from Forest Meadows on Meridian."

"Ok sir, please stay on the line with me.  I'll need a cross street."

"Mam, I'm in the woods and getting real shaky.  There's not any other streets out here.  Just send EMS and Fire with an ATV to the flashing light on Meridian and I'll have someone meet them there."

By this time I had drawn quite a crowd.  I was having trouble holding my phone. I told her I had to hang up. I finally heard sirens.

Rescued

I could hear the Rino/Mule/Gator easing its way down the path.  I was wet, cold, and dirty and had been on the ground about an hour.  I was sure glad to see those guys.  They gave me some meds and with much screaming on my part loaded me up and we began the long slow bumpy ride back to the ambulance.

Another Tuesday Afternoon

I'll stop here for today.  I have broken my hip, gone through surgery, and am at home convalescing.  We are over the hardest part (I hope).

So much changed in such a small amount time.

I'm looking forward to getting this all out.

You Know You Got It If Makes You Feel Good

Tom Brown from the air

Well I just didn't have it.  I knew something was off last Saturday before the Florida State Championship Race at Tom Brown in Tallahassee Fl on Sunday.  I was looking forward to racing, I had done the work, but I just wasn't excited.  And it showed.

Saturday Lap

The trail was as perfect as I've ever seen it.  I was a little disappointed that they took out Gun Range and didn't use Kudzilla this year but it was still fun.  I rode easy except for an opener toward the end then went to Cabos for lunch.  No beer was consumed.  Maybe that was the problem.

Race Day

The Kid finished 7th  after dropping a chain on the first lap, not happy

Clear and 66 degrees!  I got the tent set up and headed out for my prescribed warm up.  I was a little nervous but still not excited, and it showed in my heart rate during my intervals.  I just wasn't getting through the pain and into my higher zones.  I had planned to hang back at the start and move up on the multi use going out so I just figured I'd get into it during the race.  Not the best of plans.

If you're gonna be slow you should look good

We sat on the line for a while so the promoter could sort through some stuff.  Then I heard "5 seconds".  At the whistle I clipped in first try and proceeded to casually roll down the hill in the very back of the pack.  I didn't mean for it to be casual but it sure turned out that way.  I moved up a couple of places before we hit the single track but was still bringing up the rear.

I made a pass on an alternate line and saw a rider ahead of me who I knew had the ability to get on the box.  On the last climb I got a little closer.  I was breathing heavy but not in trouble, yet.  As we came around to start our last lap an expert women passed me along with the rider I had passed earlier who was in my class.  Both he and the guy I'd been chasing kicked it when we got on the multi use.  I stuck behind the lady thinking I could draft and save some energy.  I got lazy and let her pull while the other two started to gap us.  By the time I woke up and went around her I could just barely see them through the trees ahead of me.

It's Never Happened Before

So if I was going to make any kind of kick now was the time to do it.  I went into a left hand turn before a small climb, dropped a couple of gears, and promptly popped the chain off to the outside of the big ring on the front.  It's so rare that this happens, I was spinning my legs like crazy thinking it would catch.  Then I rolled to a stop and looked down.  It took two tries plus getting my glove caught in the chain ring to get the thing back on and going.  By the time I got back on they were out of sight. I lost what little mojo I had and rolled in for a 13 place finish.  Not my best race.

The After Party

The old man in the orange shirt was a little slow today 

I enjoyed the race, maybe that's one reason I didn't do so well.  We all have those days on the bike sometimes.  Fortunately Higher Ground had brought beer and was grilling chickens and that helped put a good spin on the day.

The Next Race?

I wonder if I should cat down to the 60+ class?  I wouldn't need to work so hard.  After all, I will be 60 next year.  I kinda feel like that might be giving up though.  I still enjoy racing and I enjoy the training also.  So it boils down to riding for a spot on the box with less competition or staying where I am and working harder for a spot at the bottom.  

But, catting down, could that be the beginning of the end?

Anyhoo, if that's all I have to worry about I don't have too many problems do I?

Time As I've Known It

How did it get so late so soon?
It's night before it's afternoon.
December is here before it's June.
My goodness how the time has flewn.
How did it get so late so soon?

Dr. Seuss

Man he got that right didn't he?  Dr. Seuss, I can remember my mom reading Pale Green Pants to my younger brother while he ate scrambled eggs.  I still have that book somewhere, it still has stains on the pages.  That had to have been 50 years ago.  Sneeches?  Too Many Daves, Green Eggs and Ham. We read them to The Kid, plus so many others.

Does anybody read to their kids anymore?

I love to read, and not on a Kindle, but a real book.  I love the way they smell, I like turning the pages.

I bought a book on Amazon, it arrived Friday, I was finished with it by Sunday pm.  The Fifth Wave, it's a teen book but I don't care.  I couldn't put it down.

What got all this started?  I just got back from a movie made from a book A Walk In
The Woods.  Have you seen it?

The Movie

The theater was filled with old people.  Yea, people my age, I know.  Sad.

Robert Redford was the lead character.  He's 79!  About the average age of the other theater attendees.  The lady beside me must have been 80, she was bouncing and swinging her legs like a school kid.  She giggled every time Mr. Redford said anything and screamed out in laughter at any type of a joke.

The characters were supposed to be hiking the Appalachian Trail.  They didn't look like they could get out of the parking lot.  I mean if you're going to make a movie about old guys hiking the A. T. why not cast someone who at least looks like he could walk to the front door.

Not my favorite movie.

Race Time

Enough of that whining. And speaking of old guys.  I'm looking forward to the Florida State Championship round at Tom Brown next weekend.  It'll be my last race in the 50-59 expert class as I will turn 60 next racing year and can move to any class I want.  Should I go to sport?  Maybe all the way back to base?  I even think there's a 60+ class now.  It won't matter, I'll still get my butt beat, just by a different bunch of people.

Then there's cross season coming up.  Plus the Dirty Spaghetti.  I just love this time of year.

But I Like It

The Flint River somewhere below Albany Ga.

I'm finally getting settled in after vacation.  It seemed to take a while this time.  The south in August can be trying.  But there was this:

The Social Event of the Season

Big Worm had a party, everyone who was anyone in the cycling community was in attendance.  It was an eclectic group.  Roadies sitting down with mountain bikers!  Next thing you know cats and dogs will be hanging out together.  I must have behaved since I didn't hear any stories to the contrary.

Wrecking Ball had told a story about beer and a bath robe so I modified a bottle of Sailor Jerry's Rum especially for him.  He couldn't resist.

A bottle of Sailor "Terry", specially modified for WB

The Kid Leaves (again)

Just when we'd gotten used to having him around he moved back down to Gainesville to start another year of school.  

The outside of The Kid's cabin in Gainesvile

Bikes were the first thing to get moved in

He was only down there 2 weeks, then he was back for:

The FSU SECCC Race at Tom Brown

Collegiate mountain bike racing starts early, like after the first week of classes early.  FSU hosted the first round this year so it was like a home race for The Kid.  He brought the whole team with him (all 2 of them) and they stayed with us.  It was fun to have that many young people in the house.  So much noise!

An unknown FSU rider negotiates the hairpin turn onto Cadillac 

They had a time trail on Saturday, then four cross (downhill bikes on the BMX track), and finally a short track.  Rain most of the day made for some slippery going, especially the four cross, which saw a couple of crashes.  They all got together at Tijuana Flats afterward.  And by that I mean all the teams got together.  There must have been 20 of them.  But they didn't invite me.

All I did was course marshall all day.  Glad to do it, but not much fun.

Alex leading the race

Sunday was the cross country.  UGA, FSU, Clemson, Auburn, UF, and Ga. Tech were represented.  It's a very relaxed atmosphere, no ya ya, just a bunch of kids having fun on MTBs.

Once again I was stuck out in the woods making sure the hikers and bikers didn't get run over.  I was as nice as I could be but some of those folks just wouldn't listen.  They have no idea how fast a MTB can go.

The Kid leading the Men's B

As I was directing traffic an FSU student says to me, "Man your grandson sure is fast" then he saw the look on my face "Oh, is that your son?  Sorry man, hey my dad looks old too, awww, you know what I mean".  It's those kind of comments that make you feel soooo good.  And yes, I did feel old among all those kids.

A young lady from Ga. Tech finds Cadillac a little difficult

It was all over by noon.  When I got back to the house it seemed so quiet.  Just The Lovely Wife, the cat, and me.  The night before those guys were so fired up about racing, so excited, telling race stories, laughing, eating garlic humus with garlic chips.  I'll admit to a certain level of envy (well for everything except the humus, it's still in the fridge).


I really have no business being envious.  I got to race moto for 40 years with a great group of guys. We traveled to races and trail rides with the same amount of enthusiasm as these kid have.  After I got into cycling I figured it could be the same with this sport.  But cycling seems to burn people out faster, or maybe it's just a function of getting older, or it could be me.

Anyhoo.

I wonder if the kids know how good they've got it?  Did we at that age?  When I was in college my roommate said "My dad said this would be the best time of my life.  If it gets any worse than this I'm gonna kill myself".  Of course, looking back, it was a great time.


Funny what being called grandpa will do to your head.